Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hugh Hefner Wants to Unload One Next Door

SELLERS: Hugh and Kimberly Hefner
LOCATION: S. Mapleton Drive, Los Angeles
PRICE: $27,995,000
SIZE: 7,318 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Exquisite 2 Acre Country English Holmby Hills Manor. ADJACENT TO LOS ANGELES COUNTRY CLUB. This magnificent walled estate includes remarkable grounds and privacy. 2 story entry, spacious living room w/ fireplace & beautiful garden vistas, large family room adjoins the dining room & eat-in gourmet kitchen opening to charming outdoor terrace. Enormous motor court. Rolling lawns, mature trees and wonderful private pool area.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Octogenarian playboy Hugh Hefner keeps a few big breasted bunny hunnies up in the Playboy Mansion at all times, including those three not very smart seeming blondies that appeared on that ho-rrific The Girls Next Door reality program and who were recently replaced with a taut bodied set of teen aged twins named Karissa and Kristina and a third gal whose name Your Mama can't be bothered to figure out. However, despite all his catting around with mammoth mammaried women young enough to be his great-grandchildren, the ladee luvin' soft porn pusher actually has a wife. Well, sort of...

Kim Hefner, who was not surprisingly a former Playmate of the Year, married Mister Hefner in 1989 and quickly popped out a couple of Playboy progeny. The couple separated–but did not divorce–in 1999 and the Missus Hefner moved into the property immediately next door to Mister Hefner's house of ill repute where she has lived with her children and which she recently listed with an impressive asking price of $27,995,000.

Property records show that the once happy Hefners purchased the walled and gated 2.3 acre estate on S. Mapleton Drive in April of 1996. The records we accessed were a bit fuzzy (or maybe is was that Bloody Mary we had this morning), but the always informative Penny Pricegiver whispered in our big greedy ear that the Hefners paid $6,700,000 and, interestingly, financed the whole amount. They bought the estate from the estate of TV Guide heiress turned philanthropist Lita Annenberg Hazen–of the Annenbergs–whose sister Enid married a man named Haupt and famously occupied a spectacular doo-plex penthouse apartment at 740 Park Avenue which was sold with multiple bids in late 2006 for a reported twenty seven and a half million clams.

After she went to meet her maker (or whatever), Missus Haupt's terraced two bedroom aerie was purchased by former CEO of Merrill Lynch John Thain and his wifey Carmen. The Thains have been ravaged recently by the media who quite rightly took Mister Thain to task not only for for spending a jaw dropping $1.22 million smackers of company money to redecorate his private office at Merrill Lynch but also for handing out four billion bucks in bonuses just three days before Merrill Lynch was acquired to Bank of America for $50 billion. Missus Thain, a woman used to living well and spending big, took her lumps in the press when she infamously (and allegedly) asked the sales clerks at Hermès if they could place her purchases in a plain brown shopping bag, presumably so that it would not appear she was conspicuously consuming at a time when her huzband was being raked over the coals for his dirty deeds at Merrill Lynch.

Anyhoo, we digress. Some reports state that Mister and Missus Hefner are selling up the big house because their two sons will soon be off to college and the Holmby Hills sprawler is simply too big for the Missus to occupy all on her lonesome. Other earlier reports not related to the listing of the house indicate that like so many other moguls, Mister Hefner is feeling the financial pinch and has been told by his advisers to cut expenses and lay off employees or face bankruptcy.

Listing information for the house, which backs up the fancy-pants Los Angeles Country Club just like Candy Spelling's monster mansion down the road, reveals the well proportioned ivy-covered crib measures in at 7,318 square feet and contains 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms.

The house is approached through electronic gates that open to a stately circular driveway and a massive motor court at the front of the house. Listing information indicates the house includes a two story entrance hall, a large living room with one of the home's three fireplaces, a library with a second fireplace, a family room that adjoins the dining room and eat in kitchen which all open to the rear terrace and the soccer pitch sized lawn that clearly costs a small fortune to keep as green as a leprechaun's ass.

As an aside, Your Mama can't help but wonder what's going to happen to these leviathan lawns that stretch out in front and back of all the palatial Platinum Triangle mansions once the inevitable water rationing begins. Of course, the very well to do can afford to water their lawns at any cost. However, water rationing means they will be fined up the wazoo if they use more than their allotment and doing so will probably piss off the people doing their part by letting it mellow when its yellow.

Whatever the case, the grounds of Missus Hefner's home has been lushly landscaped and includes vast expanses of lawn and a large rectangular swimming pool with an old-fashioned diving board that is surrounded by not very appealing brick and concrete terracing. The property does not currently include a tennis court, but there is certainly room for one should the next owner be the racket swinging sort.

The back yard shares a very long lot line with the Playboy Mansion next door. While there's undoubtedly a certain amount of prurient ingtrigue that comes along with owning the house next door to Mister Hefner's famous party pad, we can imagine that it could get a little tiresome to listen to Hollywood hornbags like Jeremy Piven woo scantily clad bunny wannabes back to his lair in Malee-boo and we know that on the days Mister Hefner was hosting one of his famously debauched parties, it would require more then one nerve pill for Your Mama to cope with a few dozen bimbos with plastic breasts screaming and hollering the way bimbos with plastic breasts to often scream and holler when they get a few cocktails in them.

It's an interesting time for the Hefner's to put this house on the market given that there is a bit of a glut on high priced Platinum Triangle mansions at the moment. However, for all those who have not been wiped out by that beast Bernie Madoff or managed to get out of the market before it lost half it's value, there are any number of extremely large, lavish and well located estates with owners eager to dump them.

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just didn't want avg joe to get the first comment!

Anonymous said...

While I can't stomach the "Girls Next Door" show (the girls live in a house across the street and north a few doors by the way), I do remember recently seeing a little blurb on the boob toob about Mrs. Hefner showing up for "movie night" at the mansion with the Hef and the girls. I wonder if we're going to see a transition of Mrs. Hefner back in the mansion as "house mother" since Hef isn't getting any younger?

Anonymous said...

There sure appears to be a rush to list high priced properties in the L.A. area. I mean, there's pricey, and then there's PRICEY, and it seems the latter are being listed particularly fast. I would think the climate is ripe for mansion hunters to drive a hard bargain with owners in L.A. running scared of losing their financial shirts. Thanks Mama.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't call this one a rush. It is pretty predictable given the ages of the Hefner boys. Kimberly Hefner insisted on a separate home to provide a somewhat normal upbringing for the kids. If you notice Mama's dates, they bought the house 3 years before they "separated". Kimberly Hefner is a very nice person and probably actually loves the old guy, unlike the "mammoth mammaried women young enough to be his great-grandchildren" who are just looking for that gold ticket to fame and fortune.

Anonymous said...

uh, yeah, just a normal life transition sale. not a chance. playboy is in terrible shape. they need cash. they need to reduce expenses big time. you don't dump this on the market at this point unless you are pretty desparate. but how many folks in the category that could make an acceptable offer (and who knows what that is) would want to set up shop next to the dog and pony show which is the playboy mansion? not many. it will become more attractive if the next thing we hear is that hef is closing up shop there and moving into an assisted living facility in calabasas.

Anonymous said...

When you look at English estates on 100 or 500 or 1000 acres of woodland with walkways and rose gardens and kitchen gardens, etc., etc., one is always stunned by people who think these S. California monstrosities of bad taste squeezed onto 2 acre lots are anything spendid. They are hovels and shacks fit only for peasants in comparison. Get real, people.

Anonymous said...

Here's the listing photos:

http://www.joycerey.com/photos.php?property_ID=106

It might be a bit noisy next to Grampa's Play Pen. Wonder why he didn't sell the Hutch he owns across the street instead. Maybe the Corporation owns that and not Hef.

BTW, who owns the Playboy Mansion itself? Him or the Corporation? I wonder who picks up the tab for all the parties and upkeep. Silicon can't be cheap these days.

Anonymous said...

Have you visited the U.K? Country estates with '100 or 500 or 1000 acres' are in the country! ... If you were to buy in London then you're lucky to get a garden, never mind a '2 acre lot' ... You're comparing apples with oranges!

Anonymous said...

The only problem with this house is that it's main value is that it backs on to the Playboy Mansion.
Once Hef dies, that whole cache goes with him and so does the value of this house.

Anonymous said...

Alot more photos: HERE.

Before you get excited, they are all exterior shots. Not one of the interior is included. Rather disappointing. Even if they want to protect their privacy, I think it would have been a good idea to provide at least a photo of the 2 story entrance hall and staircase, as that is typically the most intriguing architectural feature of these older English style manors. I personally would have sacrificed the vines growing on the home's exterior to have it and all hard outdoor surfaces power washed before listing it. Everything looks drab, dingy and overdue. Overall, I'm suprised by the lackluster attempt to inspire buyer interest.

Anonymous said...

dose anyone know if candy spellings manor is up for sale yet?

Anonymous said...

12:27 Said "Hey Brooklawn, are you retarded? We already have the fucking pictures, you are doing anyone any favors..."

I am very sorry I upset you so. I will no longer be posting here. I didn't think that it would provoke a reader here to the extent that it did.

Again, my apoligies for upseting you so much.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:16...

You're not too bright if you think the value is being next-door the the Playboy Mansion. That is quite possibly the biggest negative this property has. The value is being one of the FEW houses on Los Angeles Country Club on one of the most desirable streets in the Platinum Triangle.

That said, the asking price is still a fantasy.

Anonymous said...

Why isn't the Spelling monstrosity selling? According to the widow, people were offering her 9 figures and a jet for it, yet, it's still on the market.

Anonymous said...

brooklawn dr, I always enjoy your comments and hope you continue to post here. If people like the one who dissed you were to take over the comments, they wouldn't be worth reading. Please just ignore the ignorant, ungrateful creatures, and focus on the human beings.

Anonymous said...

This houses price will be slashed shortly.

Audrey Irimas house down the street at 11k sq ft orignally hit the market at $25m and then came down to $16.9m. Still yet to sell.

Plus 219 S Mapleton is now down to $19,900,000 at 12k sq ft.

Anonymous said...

I've always loved what's carved in stone over the door of 740 Park:
"740 PARK AVENVE".

Anonymous said...

brooklawn, you are way, way too nice. apologizing to that a-hole? i mean, what in the world is going on with real estalker comments these days? pretty disgraceful. the ave joe feud is just enough already. if you don't want to hear so much from this guy, then my suggestion is you ignore his comments, instead of responding and inciting. please just stop it. but of course you boys actually do want to hear more. you're getting off on it all, so you're not going to stop.

my suspicion is that some of the la regulars here actually know each other from their incestuous little community, and their animosity is really not being fomented from what is being written here. maybe.

Anonymous said...

Brooklawn...Please don't go on account of a few people who don't have any class or manners.

Besides I have a feeling Mama is gonna whip out that wooden spoon any minute now.

Anonymous said...

agree that many of the la regulars know each other, however, avg joe is not one of them... hes a 47 y/o pizza delivery driver living in his mothers basement in appleton wisconsin.

just sayin'

Anonymous said...

Brooklawn - Unlike some of the other posters in this thread, you would be missed. Please reconsider.

Anonymous said...

This house probably needs MAJOR updating on the interior which is part of why there are no pictures, not just Mrs. Heffs desire for some privacy.

There is such a huge glut of lux homes on the market in LA. It's insane and NONE of them are selling.

The more desperate they get the cheaper they'll all go. Those who have the means to hold but can't afford the payment will surely start leasing out soon... but in this economy who wants to lease a a house for $20k, $30k or in some cased $145k.

Anonymous said...

well he may be a pizza delivery guy living with his mother in wisconsin now, but he seems to have a rather specific knowledge of certain streets in the hollywood hills, leading me to believe he's had some connection there. but much more significantly, he knows exactly how to evoke a cascade of responses from certain people here. i mean he says essentially the same thing every time, and every time he essentially gets the same responses, and he is loving that he has the power to do that.

Anonymous said...

What kind of "neighborhood" is it? It seems to be a place where there are individual fortresses, and no one bothers with each other.

When Spelling's widow was openly cheating on him, and Spelling was alone in a bedroom, what "neighbors" bothered to check on him? I would venture to guess none of them.

Anonymous said...

The high end rental market in LA does have an enormous amount of listings as well. People who can't sell but can't float the mortgage are trying to settle for leasing but as Anon 1:49 said, who rents these types of properties? There are only so many Michael Jackson's and artists formerly known as PRINCE to rent this massive properties.

Anonymous said...

The upper society doesn't have "neighborhoods" Anon 2:07.

As was said in the Medavoy comments, the wealthy want their privacy. They buy acreage, put of loads of landscapings, etc. Even in the premier Co-Op in Manhatten you don't see and / or talk to your neighbors. Money isolates people in more ways than one.

Anonymous said...

There are only about 20 estates surrounding the north LA Country Club golf course. That makes ownership of one a very exclusive club (dare I say more exclusive than ownership in Beverly Park?). There are another 20 or so more moderate sized homes (probably still more than most of the children can afford) on Club View at the south end of the golf course below Wilshire.

As far as I know, the record sale of these estates would be the recently discussed Owlwood which sold for something between 35-40m.

So no - the only value of this property is NOT it's location next to the Playboy Mansion.

What some of you may not realize is the Playboy Mansion is not really a "home". It is a private club/event venue. Corporations, charities, etc. rent the Playboy Mansion for parties and fundraisers. A typical day in the neighborhood is catering and party supply trucks blocking Mapleton, shuttle vans bringing the guests or valets jockeying cars in the evening on both Mapleton and Charing Cross.

The neighbors would not be sorry to see Playboy sell it off but since Playboy has owned it longer than most of the current neighbors have owned their homes, they don't have much of a leg to stand on.

1:19 - Remember to sort fact and fiction. It is only rumor and speculation about the Spelling Mansion. Even the range of supposed asking prices ranges by 50 million dollars depending on which gossip rag you read.

Anonymous said...

2:02 - A pizza delivery person should have a good knowledge of the streets and neighborhoods. But "joe" errs on his descriptions of the streets & neighborhoods frequently which isn't a good thing if you're hoping the pizza will still be warm when it gets there. Plus those errors are as glaring as a pimple on Jessica Simpson's face when she forgets her Proactiv to the chilrin who actually do live in Los Angeles.

As for his pushing buttons, you are correct. Haven't you noticed it is actually rather easy to push his back? There is some humor & sport in watching & waiting for his inevitable meltdowns when he truly shows himself for the phony he is.

Is it cruel? perhaps. But better than reading the endless "Why do people think [insert city name here] is a nice place to live?" and "My country is better than your country" comments.

Anonymous said...

brooklawn honey don't back down we girls got your back!

Anonymous said...

anon 2.22: actually "better reading" is anon 2:10 who really has something interesting and substantive to add to the conversation. thanks 2:10. i really don't understand how playboy has managed to get away with operating that as a party venue in a completely residential neighborhood (much less that particular neighborhood) for all these years. unbelievable. it's not about who was there first, or that they knew what they were getting into when they moved there. in my opinion, it's about zoning of which i am sure there is plenty in west la that forbids this kind of operation. playboy managed to have that zoning adjusted, unless it was already set up that way before they acquired the property, which i very much doubt.

Anonymous said...

Geeez mama! Digress a bit more... I was ready for you to mention the home of the Thain's cousin's next-door neighbor's nephew's assistant principal's daughter's step-sister. Wow.

Anonymous said...

PS - I keep oranges in my trunk.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:07

It's not different the the Esquire House in Beverly Ridge Estates. Just a party venue in a residential neighborhood.

StPaulSnowman said...

Dear Brooklawn; Please keep your seat at Mama's table. It is funny how people you don't even know can post things which hurt your feelings.......doesn't seem like it should happen but it does. I, for one, will look forward to your next comment.

StPaulSnowman said...

Just a question..........what is the actual geographic norm for the LA region? Is it coastal desert? The lush grounds of this property, complete with New Zealand tree ferns, are really attractive. I have seen in some posts that even landscaping with "native" plants have drip irrigation systems. Having seen "Chinatown", I know there is a complex history with respect to water rights and irrigation. I am curious to know what a truly natural LA landscape might look like.

Anonymous said...

It's a desert. Look at the less developed areas between Los Angeles and Santa Barbara or even further north up towards Hearst Castle and you'll have a pretty good idea of what the LA basin should look like.

Anonymous said...

Considering the Dow dropped to 1996 levels. They need to drop this baby down just a little to sell!

I know being right on the golf course will add a few million, but the price should be priced in the teens to sell in this bad market. I think they would still make a few million on the sale. No need to be SO greedy.

I guess she wants to cash out big before the RE market and Hugh die.

Does it come with bunny privileges?

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/500-S-Mapleton-Dr-Los-Angeles-CA-90024/20524414_zpid/

Anonymous said...

Go play in traffic Joe (yeah - your IP address is showing).

Anonymous said...

What are you seeing, that i'm not seeing? where exactly is this guy's ip address showing?

Anonymous said...

Thank you Anonymous 2:10 for your honest answer to my honest question about what type of "neighborhood" this was. I appreciate your answer.

Anonymous said...

to pay over 1000% in sticker just so you can charge 4000% more in rents is just plain greedy and wrong although wall street at the time said to everyone it was so right.....

no wonder everyone was rich for a short time........

Anonymous said...

referring to this

http://www.luxist.com/2009/03/12/will-bostons-hancock-tower-be-sold-at-auction/

Anonymous said...

zillow only has it valued at 5.3 million.... whats up with that?

Anonymous said...

well

in 2004-2007 zillow would have been wrong but now ?

Anonymous said...

zillow is still as accurate as joe.

zip. zero. zilch. zillow.

Anonymous said...

All of the incorrect speculation. The Playboy annual report is telling:

Hef does not even own the Playboy mansion. He pays a rent and his own expenses -- it is ran just like a hotel -- every item is tracked and paid for by Hef.

The "Girls Next Door" did live at the mansion. Their rent was paid for by the GND production company. They were also treated as though it was a hotel, with all expenses paid for by the production company. They were also paid a salary, of course.

Mr. Hefner does own the home next to the mansion, the one that is currently for sale. He bought this for Mrs. Hefner since they had an amicable split and he wanted his kids growing up right next door.

The kids are older now and not that far from college. Perhaps she is downsizing?

While Hugh's finances were at one time directly intertwined with Playboy's it is now an entirely separate entity and he has is own wealth that is kept separate.

The Playboy finances, with it being a publicly traded company, should have nothing to do with his own.

Anonymous said...

Jesse B is very correct...at one time Hefner's wealth was completely tied up in Playboy...not anymore. He doesn't own the Playboy mansion, but he and Kim Hefner, a very nice lady well liked in LA, own the house that's up for sale.

It's likely a mix of Kim wanting to downsize while also getting Hugh a quick infusion of cash.

I wish them luck in getting their price, they're both nice people.

Anonymous said...

The "Girls Next Door" was filmed at the actual Playboy Mansion but the bunnies do not *live* in the Mansion. They stay in the house at 333 S. Mapleton which is also owned by Playboy.

This house was purchased because Kimberly threatened to leave Hefner to be able to raise the kids in a normal environment away from the Mansion. This house was the compromise. They stayed together for another 3-4 years. It was not purchased after the separation.

Anonymous said...

How will Hef get a "quick infusion of cash" when there is a glut of lux homes on the market that aren't selling as it is?

Sorry, but he is a pathetic man. He can only relate to bimbo's injected with silicone, young enough to be his great grand children. He never grew up, and he's in his 80's.

Anonymous said...

playboy died when aids came out

Anonymous said...

The comments here that claim to know so much about Hef's finances are dreaming if they think the fortunes, or in this case misfortunes, of Playboy don't impact him. The fact that he has some arrangement where the corporation owns the mansion and he pays rent or whatever is beside the point. If you look at Playboy on Yahoo Finance you will discover that he is the LARGEST inside holder of stock in the company. That would be almost 8,000,000 shares of the stock. Of course, he has some money outside of the company, and it may be a good chunk that will keep him and his family living well for a long time. Most everyone in his position would. There's a good likelihood that he never owned the mansion, that it was always owned by the corporation. There would be untenable liability issues if he owned it personally and not through a corporate entity.

Anonymous said...

Btw, Playbook stock traded at 8.45 one year ago. Yesterday it traded at 1.54. With 8 million shares, you can do the math.

Anonymous said...

For this price their are much, much better homes out there. I'd much rather have Kurt Rapport's home.

Anonymous said...

The finances of the company are a mess. The mansion HE lives in will be sold later in the year.

I know creditors after his ass and want him to pay before he dies and things drag on longer.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Playboy is in a total mess.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/20/business/media/20mag.html

Maybe that is why Kristy Hefner left last month as head of Playboy? She gave a lot nicer picture of Playboy growing big in China, India and Europe in the near future.
Lot of spin to get more money for this company. They died when internet porn came out in the 90s. I bet they would love to see it illegelized.

Anonymous said...

Eventually.....the Playboy Mansion will be going on the market.......
Any guess as to what the asking price will be????

Anonymous said...

If its in relation to the asking price of this place its gonna be like $50m its twice the size and land. I know that doesn't make it worth twice as much but to insane sellers they think that way.

Anonymous said...

One could get about 15,000 breathtaking acres in the scottish Highlands for 1/3rd of this price.

Anonymous said...

That's fantastic...but what if you don't want to live in the Scottish Highlands?

Anonymous said...

Who TF would want to really live in the Scottish Highlands? Incase you've never heard, its LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION! They aren't paying the price they are because of the size lot, house or the particular house they pay for the location in LA where people(maybe not you) want to be and live or the prices wouldn't be where they are.

Anonymous said...

Thank you to the posters great research about the finances of Playboy, Inc. being in the tank.
I'm surprised the company hasn't thought of turning the mansion into another Graceland, and charging admission. It's something people would pay to see, as Hef is a Jurassic park relic of a byegone age, the age of sex without consequences, after the advent of birth control, and coming to a screeching halt with the advent of AIDS. I'm sure the residents would hate it though, and I don't blame them.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of the Scottish Highlands, that area is just about as hip as the Scottish Highlands to nouveau riche celebrities of today that could afford to live there like Jay Z. I'm sure he could care less about being close to the LA Country Club. Only old timer establishment types like Hef and Aaron Spelling think that is cool. They are staying away for a reason, most likely, they would rather live in a much hipper area.

FeelMyTube.com said...

that would be a nice place to own. I wonder how much they'll end up selling it for.

KYJurisDoctor said...

Another sign of the [BAD economic] times. OsiSpeaks.com

Anonymous said...

3:16 - I'm sure the young rapper who owns a few doors down doesn't see himself as an "old timer establishment type". Homlby Hills isn't just about proximity to the LA Country Club. Granted there is something to be said for owning one of these houses that has a golf course against the property line instead of the neighbor's shrubs. But it is a desirable neighborhood because the homes are generally secluded and private from the peeping eyes of the tourists and photographers.

BigDumbJock said...

It's remarkable to me how many vicious comments are being slung at Hef and his bunnies on here. Granted, maybe it's time the ol' boy toned down his act, but people forget what a groundbreaking publication PLAYBOY has been. Over the years, Hef singlehandedly launched the careers of myriad authors whose articles and book excerpts were sandwiched between the cheesecake layouts. And maybe the magazine seems dated now, but it helped along millions of adolescent boys like me in finding and groping (and stroking) their way towards manhood--even if the founder seems stuck in an adolescent fantasy himself. As for "The Girls Next Door", I thought the show was fun--so sue me. And pick on their 'fake boobs' all you want, but underneath it all, they're still fun girls, and real people. Holly in particular always struck me as being a genuinely sweet person--she certainly was kind and gracious to the pesky papo's of TMZ and their ilk when they pestered her on the streets about the breakup with Da Man.
The one thing I don't get is how Hef could be hurting. In the 70's his net worth was purportedly in excess of $100 million, and not that long ago, over $300 million. Did all that go up in the smoke of catering fees to feed all the Hollywood freeloaders constantly streaming through the gates to par-tay? Hard to imagine.

Kieran said...

All of hughs homes are so run down! That is undeniable.

Anonymous said...

Big dumb jock (possibly appropriate name given what I have to explain),

Hefner doesn't have "hefty" catering fees. The Playboy Mansion is a business. You want to have your bachelor party there? You pay for the catering, the bunnies in attendance, and the use of the space.

Hefner is the largest stockholder in Playboy - a company that is suffering from the explosion of internet. All publications are suffering, not just newspapers. Think back to your days of playing with yourself to a Playboy...young men today do that in front of a computer screen. It's kind of better actually, Mom can't find the magazine under the mattress, and Dad can't discover you're whacking off to naked men instead of women.

BigDumbJock said...

GOLLY gee, anonymous, thank YEW fer the enlightenment! Funny how the ball-free wonders signed in under ANONYMOUS are generally the first to leave bitchy barbs. How are those marbles hangin, A? :D

Anonymous said...

Now that sounds more like a post from a big dumb jock...except in my humble opinion, anyone who has to label themselves as such on the internet is in reality a scrawny bookish dweeb who is still whacking off to Playboy in absence of being able to get within 25 feet of the real thing.

BigDumbJock said...

Alas, ANON, wrong on so many counts:
1) the cocky comment regarding 'catering fees' is known as rhetorical irony, not that you'd be able to grasp the subtleties; like, as if the Hef could have pissed through a few hundred million clams with costly parties...right ...jackass!
2) I'm a gay bodybuilder on 2 different gay muscle sites (BigMuscle.com & dudesnude.com); I hit the gym 5-6 days/week, and would venture to say I can bench press the full weight of your scrawny ass without breaking a sweat; or are you a bench warming tub of lard? (370 lbs is my one rep maximum)
3) am currently seeking an agent for a book, and preparing to enter graduate school--go figure!
4) BigDumbJock = stereotype, haha, get it?
5) re: getting near the real thing: I have hot girls hitting on me fairly regularly at the gym (like today, for example) but muscle dudes with raging libidos like mine are way easier on the wallet than the babes. Nowutimsayin?
Nice try anyhow, Anony-puss.
And kudos to the other gay dude who sings the praises of Hef. Long live the Hef!

juan said...

And long live all the gay dudes that whacked off to Playboy. I personally preferred Penthouse - the stories were far hotter...

Anonymous said...

And yet somehow, nothing Big Dumb Jock wrote sounds true.

Nitin said...

The girls next door is a good show which woven around three girls & one old man.this is really good show.usually i don't time to see it,but when i free from my work i usually see it.i watch this show online. its so easy because i just type download the girls next door.its really a good show

Anonymous said...

I am curios about something that was mentioned in this thread. How are party venues aloud in residential neighborhoods? No one explained that when someone mentioned zoning laws. I also assume Hugh Hefner actually makes money from throwing these events now that the economy is taking a slump. Maybe before he wasn't charging, but, I am sure he is now. That would make the mansion liken to a nightclub correct? Last but not least, how many party venue mansions are they in southern california and how many of them are currently for sale? Could you give me the addresses of them please? Just in case I get rich I will know where to look as long as it won't be too much of a headache.